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A lesson in health and being vulnerable…

So It turns out I'm not as invincible as I may have thought, and I’m also not great at resting, slowing down or putting myself first…  Surprise! 

It’s been a bit of a week that's for sure and the learnings have been both physically and emotionally confronting. 

Funnily enough, writing this little tale was far more challenging than talking to you guys about training, research,  menopause or periods!!

So here is a little vulnerability from me in the case it may help someone else.

I won't go into the full medical details but let's just say what was supposed to be a minor cyst removal from my sinuses last week, didn’t end up being as simple as planned. 

The expectation from my specialist was that within 24 hours I would be back to normal activity, pending recovery from the short GA, and that did include returning to exercise, I promise I checked. 

What that translated to in my mind, locked in stone, was that 24 hours later I would be 100% fine. Full stop. Problem number 1.

Unfortunately, recovery was less than ideal (surprise surprise!) and the pain in my throat and neck only proceeded to get worse in the following days. I put it down to being tired, the effect of the general. Maybe I had a bit of a cold since G had been sick too. Now in my gut I knew it was more than that, but did I utter it out loud. Nope, I didn’t want to complain. We had a kiddo ready for her first ever day of school on Monday, clients to see, training to do, parties to get to. Problem number 2.

So what would I tell you guys? I’d likely stand on my soap box to advocate for you to rest. Be kind to yourself. To go gently

I know I do all these things! 

I see it and I hear myself and I believe in what I say. 

But the pressure to stick to commitments, be a great carer, keep a tidy home, succeed and achieve day in day out. Let's be honest, those pressures come from within. Problem number 3

So someone, please explain to me how if I feel so incredibly strongly about supporting the health of others why I couldn’t on this occasion do the right thing for mine?

Health is in the highest of my life’s values but on this occasion, I literally failed to prioritise my own to ensure I was able to fulfill the commitments I had made to others that week. The need to not let anyone down….

Blame it on the wiring of my brain, but I think I have a bit of unpacking to do! 

I don’t even know when this became such a thing, I missed that point in time. Probably when I was rushing between life commitments…. Problem number 4

While it's heavy to admit, I’m doing so because I’m quietly confident I wouldn’t have been the only one to do the same. 

What I needed, and subsequently received was someone advocating for me.

Lesson number 1 - we all need people in our corner who will stand up for us (sometimes to us) to ensure our best interests are met. 

We needed some help to navigate the coming days as a family.

Lesson number 2 - even though it's hard to ask for help, it's always ok to do so.

I knew by Sunday things weren’t ok yet it took me til Tuesday evening to admit that. 

Lesson number 3 - never ever be afraid to say you are not ok. If your body has to kick you in the shins and scream in your ear so you listen you ignored it for too long.

So the coming weeks are going to look a little different as I return to full health and honestly it's probably a long overdue change.

  • My Client load and work time is being better scheduled and managed to ensure there is recovery and down time

  • I’m working hard on lowering my expectations on what I can achieve each day. The to-do list has been a bit too full for far too long now

  • I’m cherishing the time to walk my kiddo to school and the time to just chat to her uninterrupted. 

  • While my own training time is my happy time the next couple of weeks will need to be lighter to allow for recovery and the planned schedule and race goals pivoted. While I’m struggling with this mentally, I’m working hard to be pragmatic, safe and mindful of the long term goals

  • I’m booking in times of quiet and stillness each day. 5 mins to start and we will go from there. This is a hard one for me as I am naturally a person who is constantly moving or doing something. 

  • And I’ve finally booked back for regular acupuncture and treatments, another thing that I value but had fallen off the list …oh and maybe a facial or two!!

It has been hard to be vulnerable and put this to paper but I do so in the hope that maybe it resonates with someone else. We are as important as everyone else we care for and love, never ever put yourself last. If you do, I’ll be in your corner coaching you out. 


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